How one deals with trauma

My mother is writing stories that are currently being erased, erased by her aging memory, by the communist state of Vietnam, and by the passage of time. In fact, she is writing against time- a race that my mother is determined to win. “What is left of me when I pass away is my interpretation of the world,” she often reminded me. It is vital for her to leave behind traces of her soul and wisdom for her daughters and the surviving generation. Thus, my mother does not see the urgency in our collapsing home, she sees in the urgency of recording history. Her reality supplanted the reality that I live in.
I have met people like my mother before- both fictional and real. War survivors, those who have experience loss and traumas, people whose realities are starkly different from the prevailing majority. There are people who thrive on alternative dimensions despite the consequences. From homeless veterans who find comfort in the streets to my father who struggles with gambling, these characters conjure up an important discernment about life and society. Rather than yin and yang dichotomies, reality and fantasy co-exist as well as other experiences- like danger and comfort, despair and joy, love and hate. Acceptance of contradictions and complexities in humans, I believe, is an important step in helping people heal and live healthy lifestyles. Rather than changing the fundamentals of their desires and fears, we should find ways to work around them and accommodate those who deviate from societal expectations. Such approach would yield monumental and even unimaginable potentials in human productivity and progress.
My questions for you are: For people who fluctuate between different realities, where do we draw the line between acceptance and deterrence? What point do we consider such exorbitant existence insanity?
And for now, while I am at home, I will practice radical acceptance and love. This means squeezing one month of major home clean up to make up for the next six months of absence. I also will gently but sternly remind my mother to throw away expired food in the fridge and mop the floor every once in a while. Hopefully, by the time I become a lawyer, I can hire senior care-takers to assist my mother.

Originally published at https://eyego.weebly.com.